Old McCharger
by Weezle
Summary: This is what happens when Ellis gets bored and sings. Sung to the tune of Old McDonald. Just something completely random I came up with last night. Might be worth a laugh, might be a fail. If you do read please review and I hope you enjoy


"_Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh On that farm he had a Hunter e eye e eye oh with a growl growl here and a growl growl growl there, here a growl there a growl everywhere a growl growl. Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh SHIT!" _Ellis screamed as he shot the leaping hunter in the head right before it ate Nick.

"Ellis! What are you doing? This is the goddamm zombie Apocalypse! Stop singing!" Nick said, snapping at the younger male. Ellis simply crossed his arms and glared right back. He was bored and personally he thought that was a great, modern version of the song.

"Nick, calm down. He is only trying to lighten the mood. It is probably just his way of coping and besides, it is better then just yelling Hunter right?" Rochelle said, pushing herself between the two men. She personally liked it, she thought it was funny. Coach looked up from checking the fridge for food and shrugged. He missed music, of course Ellis singing wasn't as good as Midnight Riders but it still counted as music.

So the Survivors walked a little when they heard the familiar sobbing. Ellis turned off his flashlight and softly sang in the darkness. _"Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh. On that farm he had a Witch, e eye e eye oh. With a sob sob here and a sob sob there, here a sob there a sob everywhere a sob sob. Old McCharger had a farm, E eye e eye oh SHIT!" _

Nick, trying to get away from Ellis's singing had stepped on the Witch's foot. He screamed as the Witch went psycho and preceded to beat the living shit out of him. Luckily he escaped with only major bleeding.

"Damm you Ellis! Look at what you have done! Every time you sing the Zombie attacks me! So stop singing! You suck at it anyway." Nick hissed as Rochelle patched him up. Ellis felt really bad but at the same time he thought that was better then the first one. Besides, he wasn't singing that loud so the only thing to blame was Nick.

They walked a little when they heard a roar in the distance. Nick grabbed the boy and hissed into his ear. "If you so much as hum there will be a pound of lead through your skull before you get to the first E, got it?" He said, limping off after Coach. Ellis looked down, he couldn't control it if the Zombies wanted Nick. So he sung so quietly he could barely hear it.

"_Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh. On that farm he had a Tank, e eye e eye oh. With a smash smash here and a smash smash there, here a smash there a smash everywhere a smash smash. Old McCharger had a farm! E eye e eye oh SHIT!" _He screamed as a Tank ran through the wall and attacked Nick. Nick screamed curses as he was smashed into the ground.

After they killed the Tank and managed to get it off Nick he glared at the Ellis who was suddenly interested in seeing the hole in the Tank had made. "You were singing under your breath weren't you bastard?" He hissed as Ellis ran off, saying he would go and clear the way to the SafeRoom.

Ellis felt terrible, nobody had liked his singing before and nobody liked it now. He sounded like a dying cat at his best. He cleared some Common Infected and then started whistling to the tone. He heard the Manical laughter and froze. He then shrugged his shoulders, Nick was nowhere near him so he should be safe.

"_Old McCharger had a farm, E eye e eye oh. And on that farm he had a Jockey, e eye e eye oh. With a laugh laugh here and a laugh laugh there, here a laugh, there a laugh, everywhere a laugh laugh. Old McCharger had a farm! E eye e eye oh." _Ellis, waited, glancing around and listening. The laughter was gone and he didn't here Nick screaming in pain. He smiled, so the others were just weird happenings after all.

Nick limped after Rochelle and Couch. Suddenly he heard crazy laughter and turned to see the Jockey jumping at him. He screamed and somehow KNEW this was Ellis's fault. The Jockey and him fell out the window and fell into a horde of commons. He cursed Ellis all the way down.

Ellis was already at the safe house, he had killed all the common and some special infected so he should be safe to sing. He had already done a Hunter,Witch,Tank,and Jockey. He coughed and then it hit him.

"_Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh. And on that farm he had a Smoker. E eye e eye oh! With a cough cough here and a cough cough there, here a cough there a cough, everywhere a cough cough! Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh!" _ Ellis sang, bowing as if he had a huge audience. He felt awesome.

"Ellis! You were singing! About a Jockey and a Smoker and every other fucking zombie!" Nick roared as he limped towards the safe house, a need to kill the young man stronger then ever. Couch had to literally tear Nick off of Ellis.

So while Ellis was waiting for Rochelle to get around to healing him from Nick's attack he thought. At least the zombies liked his singing. He thought happily. Maybe one more verse, just for old times sake. He opened his mouth and sang softly.

"_Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh. And on that farm he had a bomb, e eye e eye oh! With a boom boom here and a boom boom there, here a boom, there a boom, everywhere a boom boom! Old McCharger had a farm, e eye e eye oh!" _And the government bombed that farm.

The End

**This is a fail, but I am posting it anyway because I kinda liked it :P if you agree it is a fail then please don't be rude and if you like it then please tell me what you like about it :D Note! I haven't yet played Left For Dead 2 so I wasn't sure how the characters act so I guessed so please do forgive me if I got the characters wrong.**

**Left for dead belongs to Valve, I think**

**The song I made up in the shower last night :D**


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